![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alonewiththemoon
I had sworn that I was going to adopt ferrets rather than buy pet store kits after Amelia passed away. But I went to a Petco to check out their ferret supplies, and was struck by a friendly yellow kit who reminded me so much of Cully that it was hard to walk away. There was another little kit, bright-eyed and intelligent looking, a sable who hung in the background but watched everything very carefully. The sable was a small kit in a pen full of larger kits, so I assumed it was a female. A week later, those ferrets were still on my mind, so off to Petco we went.
I had wanted one male and one female, so the pair seemed ideal. On picking up the little sable, I was surprised to find it was a male. I checked out some of the females in the pen, but none of them had as much personality as the little sable guy. Plus, the other ferrets were picking on him and he seemed sad and unhappy. I knew that by choosing the sickly one we were possibly setting ourselves up for future heartbreak, but for that very same reason we had to give him a good home. Home we went with Seti and Pan. It took a little while to name Seti (Setanta), but I had always thought after reading Phillip Pullman's books that Pan would make an excellent ferret name, and it suited this little guy immediately.
Pan settled in right away. I think he ate a pound of food in his first week with us and doubled in size, catching up with Seti. The two ferrets became instant fast friends. Pan was more hesitant and restrained than Seti, but Seti was patient with him, for the most part. There was no question who the brains of the pair was. Pan was very good at figuring things out--I would go so far as to say that he had an imagination, that he could picture things before trying them. That imagination is probably what also made him so highstrung. He didn't bite, but he often hissed at vistors, especially tall ones.
Around age one and a half, it was time for his second round of annual vaccinations. There is a new distemper vaccine on the market now with a very small rate of reactions, something like 1 in 10,000. Pan had a severe life-threatening reaction to his vaccination. He had to stay in a special oxygen cage overnight and be put on an iv. He came home with ulcers. That was the second time he cheated fate--the first time was our rescuing him from his failure to thrive situation in the pet store.
Some six months after that, I noticed a lentil-sized lump at the end of his tail. He had developed a fairly uncommon form of cancer in ferrets, a bone cancer called chordoma. Luckily, his was only in his tail and not on his spine, where it would have been fatal. Fate was cheated again. He had the tip of his tail amputated to stop any further spread of the disease.
Fate finally caught up with him around the end of October of this year. He developed extreme lethargy and stopped eating, and his spleen was enlarged. Some testing at the vet's confirmed that he had lymphoma, spread throughout a few of his internal organs and his lymph node system. He was put on palliative care and we brought him home. We saw some improvement, followed by more decline, then a little improvement, then more decline. This cycling was very hard because our hopes would be raised only to be dashed again. Only two weeks ago he ran a little and played in the tunnels with Seti.
Last week I saw some signs of intestinal distress and it was clear that he was in pain, especially after eating or drinking. We put him on ulcer medications, but after a week it was clear that it was not helping. On Thursday, we brought him to the vet for anther ultrasound to see what was going on. I knew at this point that we probably wouldn't be bringing him home--I could see looking at him that he was at the end of his strength. If we hadn't been coaxing him to eat, he would have died already. I expected to learn that the lymphoma had eaten through his stomach or intestine. What we learned instead was that his kidneys were almost completely shut down. None of us, including the vet, had expected to see this as he was urinating normally. But trust Pan to do things unconventionally.
So Thursday night, we went to Angell to let Pan go. Dr. Ritzman was able to be there with us, as was her regular vet tech. Because of Pan's previous health issues, they had gotten to know him and really liked him--oh, I know, they say that about all the ferrets, but I believe it. Pan was a special little guy who brought out the protective instincts in us all (including Seti, who took very good care of him throughout his illness). When they brought Pan to us, it was terribly clear to me that he was slipping away and that it was time to end his pain. He was dead even before the entire solution had been injected into him, and his body didn't have the tremors and twitches afterwards that I'd seen on Cully and Amelia. Dr. Ritzman said that said to her that his body was truly worn out, with no energy left at all. I think it was only his spirit that had kept him alive until this week, wanting to be with us and wanting things to be normal again.
He was a very brave little ferret, even though he was so scared of so many things. His remains will come home to us sometime next week, but that spirit of his is in my heart now, and I am a more complete person for it. It is unfair, so very unfair, that he should have been taken away so young. But I take comfort in having given him a good life, and I take some small comfort now knowing that he is no longer in pain. Goodbye, Pan, but dance on within me.
Here's some baby pics of Pan and Seti. This is how I remember him now, sleek and weaselly and leaping with the joy of life.
I had wanted one male and one female, so the pair seemed ideal. On picking up the little sable, I was surprised to find it was a male. I checked out some of the females in the pen, but none of them had as much personality as the little sable guy. Plus, the other ferrets were picking on him and he seemed sad and unhappy. I knew that by choosing the sickly one we were possibly setting ourselves up for future heartbreak, but for that very same reason we had to give him a good home. Home we went with Seti and Pan. It took a little while to name Seti (Setanta), but I had always thought after reading Phillip Pullman's books that Pan would make an excellent ferret name, and it suited this little guy immediately.
Pan settled in right away. I think he ate a pound of food in his first week with us and doubled in size, catching up with Seti. The two ferrets became instant fast friends. Pan was more hesitant and restrained than Seti, but Seti was patient with him, for the most part. There was no question who the brains of the pair was. Pan was very good at figuring things out--I would go so far as to say that he had an imagination, that he could picture things before trying them. That imagination is probably what also made him so highstrung. He didn't bite, but he often hissed at vistors, especially tall ones.
Around age one and a half, it was time for his second round of annual vaccinations. There is a new distemper vaccine on the market now with a very small rate of reactions, something like 1 in 10,000. Pan had a severe life-threatening reaction to his vaccination. He had to stay in a special oxygen cage overnight and be put on an iv. He came home with ulcers. That was the second time he cheated fate--the first time was our rescuing him from his failure to thrive situation in the pet store.
Some six months after that, I noticed a lentil-sized lump at the end of his tail. He had developed a fairly uncommon form of cancer in ferrets, a bone cancer called chordoma. Luckily, his was only in his tail and not on his spine, where it would have been fatal. Fate was cheated again. He had the tip of his tail amputated to stop any further spread of the disease.
Fate finally caught up with him around the end of October of this year. He developed extreme lethargy and stopped eating, and his spleen was enlarged. Some testing at the vet's confirmed that he had lymphoma, spread throughout a few of his internal organs and his lymph node system. He was put on palliative care and we brought him home. We saw some improvement, followed by more decline, then a little improvement, then more decline. This cycling was very hard because our hopes would be raised only to be dashed again. Only two weeks ago he ran a little and played in the tunnels with Seti.
Last week I saw some signs of intestinal distress and it was clear that he was in pain, especially after eating or drinking. We put him on ulcer medications, but after a week it was clear that it was not helping. On Thursday, we brought him to the vet for anther ultrasound to see what was going on. I knew at this point that we probably wouldn't be bringing him home--I could see looking at him that he was at the end of his strength. If we hadn't been coaxing him to eat, he would have died already. I expected to learn that the lymphoma had eaten through his stomach or intestine. What we learned instead was that his kidneys were almost completely shut down. None of us, including the vet, had expected to see this as he was urinating normally. But trust Pan to do things unconventionally.
So Thursday night, we went to Angell to let Pan go. Dr. Ritzman was able to be there with us, as was her regular vet tech. Because of Pan's previous health issues, they had gotten to know him and really liked him--oh, I know, they say that about all the ferrets, but I believe it. Pan was a special little guy who brought out the protective instincts in us all (including Seti, who took very good care of him throughout his illness). When they brought Pan to us, it was terribly clear to me that he was slipping away and that it was time to end his pain. He was dead even before the entire solution had been injected into him, and his body didn't have the tremors and twitches afterwards that I'd seen on Cully and Amelia. Dr. Ritzman said that said to her that his body was truly worn out, with no energy left at all. I think it was only his spirit that had kept him alive until this week, wanting to be with us and wanting things to be normal again.
He was a very brave little ferret, even though he was so scared of so many things. His remains will come home to us sometime next week, but that spirit of his is in my heart now, and I am a more complete person for it. It is unfair, so very unfair, that he should have been taken away so young. But I take comfort in having given him a good life, and I take some small comfort now knowing that he is no longer in pain. Goodbye, Pan, but dance on within me.
Here's some baby pics of Pan and Seti. This is how I remember him now, sleek and weaselly and leaping with the joy of life.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-02-05 01:36 pm (UTC)You are such a good furr-it-mum, R.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-05 01:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-05 01:44 pm (UTC)If I can be of any help, please let me know.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-05 01:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-05 01:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-05 02:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-05 02:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-05 02:21 pm (UTC)I love that first picture.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-05 02:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-05 03:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-05 03:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-05 05:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-05 06:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-05 08:02 pm (UTC)with sympathy
Date: 2005-02-05 09:22 pm (UTC)I remember being devastated when my last pet, a cat who lived to be 20, had to be put to sleep. They had to do it twice, which of course made me feel like he was still fighting up until the end.
*hug*
Date: 2005-02-06 05:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-06 06:31 am (UTC)it is so wonderful that you were able to give Pan the life and love that he deserved.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2005-02-06 08:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-07 06:01 am (UTC)Hugs to you.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-08 01:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-10 12:08 pm (UTC)