dreams of self-immolation

[alonewiththemoon]

The night before last I dreamed that I was intending to throw myself into a fire and be burnt into ashes.  Then my mother was going to come by in a month and put me back together and I would be alive again.  This was some ritual in our culture that I discovered I knew all about, even though I hadn't known anything about it before.  I went to the place where the fire was and watched the flames leaping in an iron brazier.  They were hungry and I could hear them crackle, feel the heat, and I began to be afraid.  The man who was in charge of the fire told me that they would give me a drug and I wouldn't feel a thing, but I was skeptical, because if he hadn't done it before, then how would he know that it didn't hurt?  (my brain at this point gave me the information that this was something that only women did.)  Perhaps you just lay there unable to move or cry out as the flames engulfed you.  Perhaps it hurt tremendously.  And I began to doubt what I was doing.  If my mother was just going to bring me back to life later, then what was the point of going through the ritual at all?  The fire seemed hungrier and it seemed like it wanted to hurt me.  But it was important that I do this ritual, and I felt anguished over my doubt.

I woke up sweating under too many covers and crying slightly.

Comments

the involuntary phoenix

[kambriel.livejournal.com]

It sounds like a vivid and disturbing dream. Sadly, those are about the only kind of dream I ever have, so I know how it is disconcerting after you awake... especially when you have those lingering feelings of sadness/fear/confusion/pain.

I agree with the rational part of your brain that thought it made more sense to remain as you are, and save everyone the added trouble :)

wow

[sally-keith.livejournal.com]

i had a dream about a train filled with children and we were leaving Hiroshima as it was burning. i only dreamt about fire once in 10 years or so...i think it means major change, because thats what it meant for me.

[rojagato.livejournal.com]

Good heavens! I hope your day goes better in spite of waking up like that.

[shnells.livejournal.com]

there's a whole bunch of analysis that could go into a dream like that. but if you had such a response to it, it's clearly yourself trying to tell you something. and not necessarily a bad thing. throwing yourself in a fire and being reborn again means something to you. generally it means change and rebirth but maybe you're afraid of the process? maybe you don't trust the information around you (ie the man?) i don't know, you have to work out your own symbolism in these things. *hugs*

[atalanta.livejournal.com]

eesh!
at first it sounded like one of those almost-nightmate-but-actually-cool dreams .. but then, not so much.